Don’t act on NY Resolutions until you’ve read this!

2011-year-resolution-400x400The temptation will be strong over the next week to join in with others and declare your New Years resolutions for 2013.  An admirable gesture for sure, however the reality is that the majority of people leave their resolutions long behind by March.  So how can you be different? What can turn your good intentions into sustainable long-term behaviours?

The truth is that whatever the new behaviour is (eg. Starting to exercise, stop smoking, flossing your teeth) it’s something that you are currently NOT doing as you would wish …. hence the need for the resolution!  So, whatever it is there are reasons you aren’t doing it.  Unless you know what they are and have strategies to overcome them, you are wasting your time declaring your upcoming change.

The well known phrase fail to plan, plan to fail’ is 100% correct.  Most psychologists view behaviour change as occurring through a series of steps or stages.  We may initially be resistant to change, then we contemplate doing things differently and many people make some quick plans and then launch themselves into whatever the new behaviour is.

STOP.

You rushed it and that’s why so often it doesn’t work.  Successful behaviour change comes about when you think and plan, then think some more, and then do some more planning!

Let me illustrate two quick examples of how you can considerably increase your chances of changing your behaviour.  I’ll use examples of both starting a new behaviour and stopping an existing one.

Starting a new behaviour – Going to the gym

Why do I want to start exercising at the gym?

  1. It will improve my cardiovascular fitness and strength
  2. It will help me to lose weight
  3. it will help my confidence?

So why haven’t I been going to the gym?

  1. I haven’t been prioritising it into my weekly schedule.
  2. When I have the opportunity to go, I do something else, for example when the alarm goes off in the morning, I roll over and go back to sleep.
  3. I think about going to the gym and then I tell myself it’s going to be hard, and I will be sore, and I’ll probably make a fool of myself.

What do I need to do differently to overcome these obstacles?

  1. Prioritising – Get out my diary and make an appointment with myself to go to the gym. Decide whether mornings or evenings will suit me and the family better.
  2. Not seizing the opportunity – go anyway! I know I don’t feel like it, but I know it will feel good once I’m done.  I also need to have my clothes out ready to make it easier. So I’ll lay them out the night before for a morning session. Or I’ll put them in a bag in the back of my car in the morning so I can go straight from work.
  3. Negative self-talk – challenge the helpfulness of what I’ve been saying to myself.  “Yes, it will be physically uncomfortable at first and I might be sore, but long term it will be really good for me to go”.  “I might feel self-conscious, but I’m a long way in front of all the people who stayed home in bed!”  “That’s why I’m going to get a trainer to plan out a program for me initially, so I can learn what to do”.

What resources do I need to change my behaviour?

  1. sandshoes,
  2. gym shorts and a tshirt
  3. a gym membership,
  4. access to a personal trainer to design my initial training program.

When will I start?

I’l ring the gym now and schedule to get a program from a trainer.

How will I know when I’m successful?

I’ll be regularly going to the gym 3 times a week and I’ll notice a difference in my appearance and how my body feels.

What if I relapse and stop going?

  1. I’ll first forgive myself!
  2. I’ll then review why I haven’t been going and make plans to overcome those obstacles.

Behaviour 2 – Stop eating high sugar and high fat desserts every night.

Why do I want to stop eating the desserts?

  1. They are calories I don’t really need.
  2. I’ve just started my gym program and this isn’t helping my efforts.
  3. I don’t feel good after I’ve eaten them.

Why do I currently eat desserts every night?

  1. They are in the freezer!
  2. Habit
  3. My partner eats them with me
  4. It’s what I do when I watch tv to relax.

What do I need to do to overcome these obstacles?

  1. In the freezer – throw them out and don’t buy any more!
  2. Habit– Change the habit, think about something I would rather eat instead like a piece of fruit or some yoghurt and have those foods available.  Remember you don’t need to totally abstain!  Perhaps you might have your treat dessert twice a week.  Plan which nights that will be and have that then.  Reducing your intake from 7 nights a week to 2 will make a big difference.
  3. My partner eats them too– talk to your partner about your decision to make a change and see if your partner would like to make the change too.  It will be easier if they do, but if they don’t, make the commitment to do this for yourself.
  4. It’s what I do to relax– Remind yourself why you are making this change.  Enjoy the fruit or whatever alternative you go with.

What resources do I need to change my behaviour?

  1. A dessert alternative

When will I start?  

I’ll go grocery shopping this afternoon and buy some fruit alternatives.  When I get home I’ll throw the old desserts out (or put them to the back of the freezer for my two allocated nights).

How will I know when I am successful?

When I have been regularly eating healthy options for my dessert.

What if I relapse and stop going?

  1. I’ll first forgive myself!
  2. I’ll then review why I haven’t been going and make plans to overcome those obstacles.

SO WHERE DO YOU START?

First I’d like you to copy the questions I have listed below and put them into a word Healthprocessing document.  Take the time to go through the questions and answer them for yourself.  Print the answers off and put them somewhere where you’ll see them and start moving towards change.

  1. Why do I want to stop/start                               ?
  2. Why do I currently                          (insert the current barrier here)?
  3. What do I need to do to overcome these obstacles?
  4. What resources do I need to change my behaviour?
  5. When will I start?  
  6. How will I know when I am successful?
  7. What if I relapse and stop going?